YAJEAAD (yet another journal entry about a dream)
Last night, I had a dream I had moved back to San Francisco. While walking on the sidewalk, I noticed there was background music playing, sort of like music in a supermarket except this was provided by the city. I liked that San Francisco had chosen a song I liked (Watching the Detectives, by Elvis Costello). The supermarket here in Lone Pine plays country/western music, not my favorite choice.
The dream touched on several things I miss about living in a city, not just the prevailing musical sensibilities but also social opportunities and other city amenities.
I imagine if I moved back to San Francisco, I would dream about what I missed about the desert. If I moved away, one thing I'd miss for sure would be the endearing wildlife outside my door here, e.g.:
black-tailed jackrabbit (Lepus californicus)
Wednesday 05.26.04
The United States is committed to the world-wide elimination of torture and we are leading this fight by example. I call on all governments to join with the United States and the community of law-abiding nations in prohibiting, investigating, and prosecuting all acts of torture and in undertaking to prevent other cruel and unusual punishment. - President Bush, June 26, 2003Bush said that during a period when US torture of detainees was widespread.
An Army summary of deaths and mistreatment involving prisoners in American custody in Iraq and Afghanistan shows a widespread pattern of abuse involving more military units than previously known. The cases from Iraq date back to April 15, 2003, a few days after Saddam Hussein's statue was toppled in a Baghdad square, and they extend up to last month, when a prisoner detained by Navy commandos died in a suspected case of homicide blamed on "blunt force trauma to the torso and positional asphyxia." - New York Times, May 25, 2004
Tuesday 05.25.04
Monday 05.24.04
The June 2004 issue of Vanity Fair magazine has an article about Deep Springs College, a remarkable, small, two-year college located in a remote desert valley not far from the (slightly less remote) desert valley I live in. The article isn't too bad, but it ends by describing a moonlit night where the whole student body went skinny-dipping in Owens Lake. The skinny-dipping may well be a true story--but if so, it went on in some other lake, one with a fair amount of water.
Sunday 05.23.04
Back home.
At security screening (JFK airport) yesterday, I asked that a magnetic (data backup) tape I was carrying be hand-inspected. In this case, inspection included a chemical test for residue of explosives or who-knows-what. The tape passed. The security dude then told me hand inspection hadn't been necessary because their machines are safe for films with ASA/ISO speed less than 800. I told him it wasn't film. (Are these guys well-trained, or what.)
Arrived in Vegas around 11:00 last night. A big convention or something must've been going on, no hotel rooms* were available. I slept in my truck in the airport parking garage: relatively safe, but not ideal sleeping conditions (it's well lit, there's airplane noise, and the floor shakes when cars drive by).
*well, I could've gotten a $300 room at the (aptly named) Stratosphere.
Saturday 05.22.04
Are any of y'all following the blog-feud between Andrew Sullivan and Juan Cole? Today, Sullivan responds to Cole's recent critique of an earlier Sullivan column. Cole's going to be on the road this week, I don't know how much he'll respond. But I hope the show goes on; it's entertaining.
Friday 05.21.04
From an essay about rock and roll in today's NY Times:
Youth is a quality not unlike health: it's found in greater abundance among the young, but we all need access to it. [...] I'm not talking about the accouterments of youth: the unlined faces, the washboard stomachs, the hair. The young are welcome to all that--what would we do with it anyway?To state the obvious: what you do with such accouterments is get the pants off of others who exhibit such accouterments.
Thursday 05.20.04
A while back, I added a link (under "others", to the right) to the personal web site of Juan Cole, a professor working in (among other areas) Middle Eastern studies. His blog is tendentious, sometimes annoyingly so; I think he'd be more effective if his writing were more dispassionate. But his site gives me information about Iraq that's hard to find elsewhere.
Wednesday 05.19.04
Things I've seen in New York this week that I don't see at home in the desert:
- a young man running down an up escalator at a railroad station (faster than taking the stairs, which were packed)
- a blind person reading braille on the subway, her seeing-eye dog (which exhibited remarkable equanimity) at her side
- a museum full of (to my eye) largely vapid art which, an article in the New Yorker tells us, enjoys immunity from being deemed bad ("When minimalist works fail to make something happen for someone, they aren't bad art. They're nothing.")
- decidedly non-vapid architecture and sculpture that I never tire of seeing
Happy nineteenth.
Tuesday 05.18.04
There's no substitute for youth.-- thus spake my dear uncle Roy in Pennsylvania this Sunday. Alas, I am not explaining what the occasion was. (Don't say I didn't warn you; see the FAQ about online journals being self-indulgent.)
Thursday 05.13.04
Private property is a human invention, but other animals have similar concepts. One hummingbird claims the feeder I put out and continually chases other birds away from it. Poachers sometimes use clever strategy, like waiting nearby until a third bird tries to feed. The "owner" chases bird III away, usually far away, leaving the feeder temporarily unguarded.
You can tell the owner from an interloper at a glance. The owner feeds with confidence and authority; the others move tentatively and cautiously.
I'd love to see that in a movie. I'd like to see a scene with two people watching a hummingbird feed, remarking on the bird's body language, how the bird knows that it shouldn't be there. Later in the film, a scene with no dialogue shows a human trespassing somewhere with the same characteristic furtiveness. Film is such a great medium.
A few days ago, a strong wind blew my* hummingbird feeder off the nail it hangs from. It fell, broke, and left sugary goo on my deck.
*birds only think they own it.
Sunday 05.09.04
President Bush says the abuses at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq don't reflect the America he knows. He says America doesn't work that way. Problem is, America sometimes does work that way. By that, I mean:
American prisons are sometimes overcrowded and tolerate abuse. It's hard to get accurate figures, but an estimated 1 in 10 prisoners is raped. Like Bush, prison authorities deny the extent of the problem. According to Human Rights Watch,
Correctional authorities generally deny that prisoner-on-prisoner rape is a serious problem. Human Rights Watch surveyed correctional authorities in all 50 states on the prevalence of rape and sexual abuse. In that multi-year survey, not one state reported abuse rates even faintly approaching those found by academic researchers. For example, New Mexico prison officials said, regarding "the 'problem' of male inmate-on-inmate rape and sexual abuse" (internal quotation marks are theirs), that they had "no recorded incidents over the past few years." Nearly half of all states do not even compile separate statistics on sexual assault. Rape Crisis in U.S. Prisons, April 29, 2001The problem persists because it's tolerated by guards and by the public; there's not much sympathy for raped prisoners. So Mr. Bush: what happened in Abu Ghraib reflects America more than you are willing to admit. The state you were governor of has had the country's worst record of prison rape. That officials are "only" tolerating abuse rather than committing it isn't much consolation if you're the one being raped.
I know there are prisons in the USA operated with professionalism and integrity, and I know that many POWs held by the USA are treated properly. But the problem cases, even if in the minority, are not all just flukes. There are indications of some systemic problems.
The abuses at Abu Ghraib resemble those the CIA has taught to various groups around the world. "The pattern of abuse of Iraqi prisoners follows established CIA interrogation techniques" (Vikram Dodd, writing in The Guardian).
All this is on my mind today for a few reasons. For one, I was visiting earlier today with a friend of mine who (years ago) had been raped in prison. And, on the way home, I stopped to see the newly-opened exhibits at Manzanar, one of several camps where Japanese-Americans were interned during World War II. The National Park Service has done a great job; a big auditorium which had been built by internees in 1944 has been renovated and now has a fine collection of exhibits about the history of Manzanar. I was so struck by the irony of the country coming to terms with past abuses while it perpetrates new ones. I walked out of the auditorium in tears.
I think my favorite Beatles lyric, one that I read as deeply sarcastic, comes from George Harrison's song While My Guitar Gently Weeps:
with every mistakeBelow: Untitled (Manzanar), woodblock on rice paper, 8"x10", painted by Hideo Kobashigawa while interned.
we must surely be learning
Saturday 05.08.04
While out climbing yesterday, I commented about how I'd like new knees, the pair I have being worn out. I said I didn't expect to ever get new ones, not believing in reincarnation. My climbing partner said he did believe; I asked why. He said that the first time he picked up a flute, he knew the technique instinctively. I wondered if a wee bit of exaggeration was going on (I hadn't been there to hear his first attempts at playing the flute).
We talked a little more. He mentioned Bridey Murphy, but he had never read anything critical of the Bridey Murphy case. He had no familiarity with literature critical of reincarnation, little or no interest in the other side of the story.
Some beliefs offer reassurance and comfort. I watch out for that. I don't want to stake my well-being on a belief; I want to be open to evidence and argument. I'm not going to be open if I'm attached to the payoff of holding a comforting belief.
I've tried to develop the ability to remain centered no matter what. If you want to derive satisfaction or comfort from beliefs, my suggestion is to stick to beliefs that are rock-solid. No matter how hard you try, you will never know for sure whether reincarnation is real. But you can count on e to the pi i power equaling minus one.
Wednesday 05.05.04
President Bush, speaking about the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by the US military, said
The actions of these few people do not reflect the hearts of the American people. The American people are just as appalled at what they have seen on TV as Iraqi citizens have. The Iraqi citizens must understand that.Many Americans (myself included) are indeed appalled. But as reported by Ana Marie Cox, a certain US radio personality sees it somewhat differently:
Rush Limbaugh put it all in perspective, after a caller remarked that the "stack [of] naked men" was "like a college fraternity prank."This is beyond the pale. But I won't dwell on Rush Limbaugh, his words speak for themselves.
RUSH: Exactly. Exactly my point! This is no different than what happens at the skull and bones initiation and we're going to ruin people's lives over it and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You of heard of need to blow some steam off?
I recommend Ian Fisher's article about one of the Iraqis who had been tormented at the hands of US soldiers; I found it to be a striking piece of journalism. My heart goes out to the ex-detainee, Hayder Sabbar Abd.
Tuesday 05.04.04
The full moon looked awesome this evening as it rose over the Inyo mountains. I pointed it out to a neighbor I was talking with at the time. He then pointed it out to his dog, who didn't seem to understand. All the dog noticed was that our attention was on him. The dog wouldn't have been able to groove on the moon's pale orange color anyway (dogs are colorblind).
Life has been better lately. I've had some hard times over the past few months, stuff I largely didn't write about here. The good news is, I'm feeling better physically and emotionally. How well I climb is a decent measure of how well I'm doing overall; rock climbing is as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one. I climbed OK today. Lots of things don't excite me as much as they used to, but I still love climbing.
A choice before me: how much to work (and which work to do; potential options are appearing). I could use a break, there's lots of non-work stuff I want to do. Lots of pros and cons to be weighed. I should remind myself: I have taken many breaks from working over the years, and haven't ever regretted doing so.
Monday 05.03.04
My Echeveria crenulata is getting ready to flower.
I am so stoked.
Sunday 05.02.04
... if I write in C++ I probably don't use even 10% of the language, and in fact the other 90% I don't think I understand. - Brian Kernighan
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